I do not know why I have yet to learn my lesson with Dirt Diver.
As much as I am surprised by him, I am also always just left shaking my head asking myself "why? why me?"
Of course for the past 3 days we've been running low on TP.
By low I mean 1 roll for 6 people and half a bag of flushable wipes.
Toilet paper nazi doesn't even begin to describe me with everyone's usage.
A normal person would suck it up, get dressed and head to walmart.
Nope not I. Instead I much rather nurse a hang over from date night with Dirt Diver. work, bowl, and most importantly go to Walmart for mangos but not for toilet paper.
Yesterday I couldn't wait it out any longer so I sent Dirt Diver to go grab some.
BIG wait no scratch that GINORMOUS mistake!
As I sat here at the computer trudging away at work while deflecting monkies from attacking anything higher then waist high the front door was kicked open and a muffled "HELP" was yelled.
Got up to see what he was doing, turned the corner and froze.
There in his and a buddy's hands was a box.
Not just any ole box.
But a box that encased a 55" wide screen tv.
Now normally I would have flown off the handle bars ranting and yelling.
Instead I shook my head, mumbled something of the sorts "good luck assnugget ya on your own" and went back to work.
After the guys struggled bitched, yelled, and complained while setting it up, moving the perfectly good and VERY MUCH loved 47" Vizio to our bedroom, I asked the question...
"What in the hell were you thinking? I only wanted some fucking toilet paper to wipe our asses with!"
With a huge smile, a twinkle in his eyes, he hugged me and said "You were complaining about not being able to see the game very well and the glare of the screen so I figured it was time to replace the Vizio"
Hmmm no this is NOT what I meant while bitching about getting my ass handed to me while playing Black Ops. When I said I couldn't see the screen in reality what I was saying was "I SUCK and need someone to blame for my lack of eye hand coordination when it comes to video games!"
Do you know when you are horrible at playing 1st person shooter games on a 47" tv that your mistakes and fails are only AMPLIFIED on a 55"? Yeah me either until I gave it a try and wanted to cry as his friend and Dirt Diver laughed behind me.
24 hours later I am still staring at this monstrosity of a TV and still not sure if I wanna kill him or love him.
I just keep reminding myself that in the end, he has good intentions and while I hate those intentions sometimes; I'll take him at this stage then the stage he was at 6 years ago.
And no he did not get the toilet paper.
He never ceases to amaze me sometimes.