As I said yesterday I would post today about this absolute hair-brained lady who is missing more than a half her marbles; and wouldn’t you know it she just so happens to resemble me! Me of all people in this redneck town! Saturday before she headed out to the river to meet up with the rest of her family (another miraculous coincidence that she happened to be heading to the same river as me on the same day); when her husband’s camera came in the mail. He was kind enough to priority mail his camera so that she could have one for the drive next week. So OF COURSE, she would take absolute awesome care of the anniversary present she got him last November! She would NEVER be so careless and reckless with it. NEVER! And with that merely explaining what this lunatic lady did does no justice to the SEVERITY of the stupidity of this one absent minded wife.
Please note before I continue on with her misdeed; I would never, ever do this myself, just because the culprit HAPPENS to look like me is merely coincidence. Follow the map…
At point A is where she stopped at Wal-Mart to pick up drinks and ice. Upon leaving she rearranged things in the bed of the truck and at one point took the camera in the camera case and set it on the bumper. Finished up there and head out of town. Follow the lavender blue line.
Now here comes the fun part. She took the 101 (main road/highway) out of town. Starting at the top, do you see where it says “101” and “Bunker Hill”? Keep following the dark blue line, all the way down till the dark blue and the light blue cross over? That is where this nincompoop remembered that she forgot her camping chair, so she made a right on “Shinglehouse Slough Road” and took that back into town. Now Shinglehouse Slough Road is a VERY narrow 2 lane road that literally has no shoulder (well it does but if you want to go down the hill or be pushed up against the mountainside that’s on you) and it is curvy! You cannot help but speed a little because it’s all downhill and you have to ride your brakes. Which I do not do and it’s fun to take the curves at times. Besides the way the curves are you can see if anyone’s coming up the mountain. Since this lady looks like me, I’m going to assume she would enjoy the road the way I do.
Anyways she take Shinglehouse all the way back into town and since she just so happens to live out in the boonies on the other side, she decided to stop at Fred Meyers. Freddies is where the “B” is back in picture 2. Stop there, run in and grab a lawn chair; and head back out of town this time we’re now the light blue line in picture 3.
It is there where the light blue line ends that this lady stops on the side of the road in a nervous panic realizing that in the last hour the very last place she saw her husband’s camera was in her hand as she set it on her bumper back at Wal-Mart in picture 1. It is at that moment that her chest feels like a million bricks have been placed upon her, that she nervously gets out of the truck after putting her hazards on. As she slowly walks to the back hoping that her memory is wrong and that she put the camera back in the bed of the truck; that she turns and finds her husband’s camera sitting on the bumper of her truck.
She still 72 hours late cannot fully laugh at the incident nor has she had the guts to bring it up to her husband. She sadly became one of the THOSE parents and bribed her 2 oldest children plus her daughter’s friend with ice cream to keep the incident a secret from their father. She also has slept with the camera right next to her cell phone for fear of losing it again.
Lesson to be learned… my brains have been sucked from the kidlets I gave life. If I can forget a camera on my bumper, can we just imagine WHO I’ll forget on the drive out to Kentucky?