*chirpchirp* *cough* *chirpchirp*

17 June 2010

I have done my best to avoid this conversation for the past 6 years of our relationship, but it started this week and there was absolutely no way to put it back in the little box I’ve kept it locked in. They have revamped his unit for their “final” groups he’s gone from a Battery to a Company and assignments were given for each role. The guys literally played “Rock, Paper, Scissors” over who gets to be with who in the trucks. I couldn’t help but alugh at that. Grown men, standing in swamp ass inducing weather playing the best of 3 on who gets to hold who’s hand. But because of all this, my perfectly kept hidden box that I’ve managed to keep out of serious discussions has been opened.

Sometimes I wish I had a husband who loved to sit behind a desk and play with the computer and papers; who wanted to nothing but to live in a safety bubble. Instead I know that he is meant to be out there, getting dirty, taking risks, and enjoying every single minute of it. I remember his emails back when he was deployed when we were just friends. No matter how much I wish for him to be someone different for this upcoming deployment, he won’t be and that’s why I love him so much. I refuse to watch the calendar tick down to that dreaded day. I will make the best of it, turn any conversation regarding the deployment into a joke; because I’d rather laugh it off then cry right now.

I really don’t have much to do today, just want to work on the laundry since ‘Tater came home the laundry pile grew from a very very VERY small bump to this huge mountain. The clock is going to drag by till 1700 when I can go and pick up my “rainbow” for daycare and be officially open for business. I can’t even describe how bad I/we need me to be open right now. Scraping the barrel doesn’t even describe it right now. This move just set us back and I’m desperate to get ourselves out of it, it’s just taking longer then I thought or want.

Oh Well, what does not break us only makes us stronger, right?

Man this post kinda stinks almost as bad as a pair of socks left in the rain for a week in the grass then thrown in the laundry room and left to stink up the house while I tear it apart trying to find the culprit…Monkey.

I’m lacking here. I think it’s due to my brain being overwhelmed with stress right now and I’m just holding onto hope to get through this. 

But on a funny note, my exhusband sent me a friends request on Facebook! I about keeled over and died from the laughter. I mean seriously, he's put me through hell and back more times then I can count. I've gone to jail because of him. I've had to have restraining orders put against him. I have been dragged through the mud by him in court over Lil t' and he has the friggen BALLS to friend me on FB? I really don't remember them being that big before either. *snicker* What the hell goes through his mind is a mystery to me and I really would like to keep it exactly like that... a mystery.

2 Voices:

mannadonn said...

I sometimes wish my guy wasn't so "hooah" all the time too but if they were simply "desk jockeys" or "pencil pushers" I think we would probably get pretty bored pretty quickly. Just reading your blog I think you have a lot of fire in you and you need a guy who is going to keep up! But it is nerve wracking and scary. I'm sorry you have to go through this but I know you will be fine.

Congrats on being able to get up and running. It's no fun when you constantly feel behind and in the hole.

I don't even know what to say about your ex. Sometimes I wonder about men...LOL!

Mrs. S. said...

That is indeed RIDICULOUS!


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