Sometimes the Army sounds so divine...

The last 24 hours have been a test of my patience and what I can endure with my children. The buttons have been pushed so many times, the color’s running thin and the fuse is about to blow. If this is just a preview of what a year alone with them is going to create then I am joining the Army myself and begging to be sent on a deployment.

Since I really can’t come up with complete sentences to explain my day, bullets will just have to suffice.

• Took the kids to the park only for my 2 yr old daycare boy to spend the whole time there whinning and crying because I won’t let him be a bully to other kids.
• Loaded kids up and went to hit the Commy since I forgot to get milk. It’s closed *palmforhead*
• Spend another 20 minutes driving a lovely speed of 15 mph to get off post because I’m the lucky idiot who didn’t cut off the tractor in front me to get around him.
• Get what I need for my WIC vochures (yes I’m still eligible for them since I don’t make enough with Dirt Diver’s income combined) wrangle 3 kids through WallyWorld only to be told that the vouchers I had, had expired by the pruney old hag who spent 8 minutes staring at the vouchers before telling me what’s up.
• Throw everything back in the cart while old hag is huffing and puffing at my obvious attempt to slow her completely empty lane down.
• Drag 3 kids back through the parking lot to grab WIC folder & search for new ones.
• In the process of looking for voucher, daycare kid gets head stuck between the wheel and the body of my SUV.
• Dislodge kid, we’re both covered in grease and dirt, go back into store. Pick another lane only to realize that half the stuff I grabbed weren’t on the new vouchers.
• Walk out with less then what I wanted but said screw it.
• Fast forward no one wants to take a nap but finally do and sleep late.
• Older kidlets home from school were put on opposite sides of my bed and given instructions to fold the laundry.
• In the living room when I hear a crash. Go to check on kids to find that they decided to fold laundry on same side of bed, pushed, shoved, elbowed and broke my brand spanking new Scentsy Plugin.
• Best part about the last bullet, they had turned it on so I have wax all over my wall, outlet, and parquet floors.
• In the process of cleaning up that mess, daycare kid found a green crayon and put his skills to work on FOUR cushions on my brand new friggen couch.
• Finally daycare kid’s dad picks up and I pop a beer, only for a friggen rude ass selfish fly to fly into it and get stuck.
• Grab another beer, turn on Dexter, and become a vegetable.
• Shower time fight with kids.
• Glitter left out by Lil t’ that is now all over the boys bedroom.
• More attitude from Lil t’ who is now at 2 strikes this week and we’re only a day and half into the week. One more and there will be no Boy Scouts this week.
• Bedtime fight like usual.

I was able to enjoy 2 episodes of Season 2 of Dexter in peace and went to bed only to start my Tuesday out…

·         By a 3 yr old boy telling me at 0230 that I was hogging MY bed and to move as he kicked and elbowed my ribs.

·         Lil t’ waited till the very last minute to inform me we were outta dog food. Please read in between the lines here… dog didn’t get dinner last night nor breakfast today.

·         Daycare kid and Princess dump their bowls of milk out and play with it on the table.

·         Run to the commissary only to find I left my id at home.

·         In the process of trying to buy dog food without a ID, Monkey steals old mans electric cart behind us, and crashes it into a Ottis Spunkmeyer Muffin display. (Mortified does NOT begin to describe how I felt)

And here I am. It’s only 0900 on Tuesday morning still a couple more days till Dirt Diver gets home and I am ready to enlist in the Army and deploy to get away from the past 24 hours of hell. And yes I know it could have been worse somewhere but I don’t care. The past events have broken me down to crying while drinking a beer and hoping for the week to be over.

How has your week gone so far?