I sometimes wonder; what’s the point of going to a doctor to complain about issues. Half the time they look at me like I’m speaking a foreign language and then hurry to push me out the door. I always feel the same way when I take the truck in for noises. Nothing is ever wrong when you walk through the door of the doctors or the mechanic shop. I hate the way they just cock their head to the side a little or bring their pen to their mouth as if they are thinking hard. It irritates me. I have a short fuse lately I think.
For the past 5 or years I’ve dealing with the most irritable, cumbersome, pain that overcomes me every single day after a shower. It started out small when I would have contact with water my skin would itch here and there. There's no rash, no hints as to skin irritation, no bumps, nothing. It just feels like someone's taken a million pins and jabs me over and over again. Then it progressed to carrying on for 30 minutes or so. Over the years it’s progressed to last for about an hour or longer. I scratch till I’m bleeding and bruised. It’s horrible. Today finally got a referral to the allergist and sadly by the time I walked out 2 hours later I felt even less hope that they will figure out why I itch so incredibly bad. It’s so frustrating not having an answer. I’ve cut out Sodium Lauryal Sulfate, smelly things, use goat milk or sugar scrubs, changed detergent to hypoallergenic junk. Nothing does the trick. So the end result…to take Zyrtec 2xs a day. Hmm the stuff makes me sleepy. In other words the doc wants to make me sleepy to help numb the itch. Not possible with kids. After a lot of fussing I got another appointment with a different doctor in a couple weeks. I just don’t think drugging me up is figuring out the root of the issues.
Continued patience would be helpful but I just don’t have it right now.
Dirt Diver will be home this week and then the official count down will begin till we bid farewell. There is still so much left to talk about, yet I just keep sweeping it under the rug. I know what my plans will be for the most part if something were to happen but other than the basics I have nothing else figured out. He made me promise to have a plan laid out on paper to help me if I were faced with the situation but honestly it just makes me cry. I like my little “bubble” of safety where Dirt Diver is invincible.
Peace of heart? Yes.
And with that, I’m sticking with it for a little bit longer.