Being an adult doesn't mean I'm rational all the time

08 December 2010

(Found randomly on the vast web)

As you are reading this my dear readers, I am laying on a chair about to be beaten and tortured by some evil sadistic monster! She will probably have to use bungee cord and duct tape to keep be down as I fight to survive and escape her evil lair of torture.

I am not afraid to admit it; I am PETRIFIED of these doctors. I truly don’t believe they should be allowed to be called doctors as they seem to take great enjoyment out of picking, prodding, pinching, and criticizing as they go through each and every tooth.

Dentist = The Devil’s Right Hand Man!

I KNOW how important going to these monsters are and I encourage our kids to go and make it fun to take them. But me on the other hand, I drag my feet as I’m clawing to climb away.

How sad is it that 30 years old, a mom to 4 kids; that my own husband is personally driving me there to ENSURE I don’t keep driving right past the office and hide out for an hour! I mean what kind of trust is that? He feels that he has to be my personal escort. Like I am the kind of person to lie about something as simple as being tortured to death by a masked monster?!

Who in their right mind would WILLINGLY want to look inside people’s mouths?! The thought gives me the eeby jeebies!

In a more positive note about these evil monstrous masked villains, 3 of the 4 had their checkups on Monday. The ONE kid who I had money on to have a mouth full of cavities because of her apparent disregard for a toothbrush or toothpaste, ‘Tater had a clean bill of health. I even asked for a second Villin to double check that’s how much I couldn’t believe there were none. BUT on the plus side we did get a referral to Ortho for her bottom teeth. Princess had her first check up while Dirt Diver is still here. She did so good in his arms and she's got a beautiful set of pearly whites that chomp down well on my flesh.

This is a whole new uncharted territory for me now. I firmly believe God knew I was going to have this volatile relationship with these masked things that he blessed me with almost perfect teeth. I have ONE tooth that is at an angle but not a single dentist will refer me to Ortho. They have all said I have perfect teeth. The idea of seeing how much it'll cost to give her some straight teeth makes me cringe but in the end I know that it'll help boost her self esteem, help lessen problems in the future as she gets older and makes it easier to take care of them.

But enough about the kids who love going! I will probably till the last minute try to come up with every excuse under the sun for why I can't go. If you don't hear from again, you will know they tortured me till I couldn't take it anymore and died from their sadistic ways.

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1 Voices:

Briemarie said...

I have a long hateful history with oral doctors. But not dentists so much as othodontists. Braces for two and a half years. HATRED.


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