..Time is trudging by..

14 December 2009

4 days and some odd hours till I get to be in The Man’s arms. We really have been lucky with our time in the Navy. He had just finished up his deployment when we met, spent a year on work ups only to lat move and spend 3 years on shore duty to 6 months as civilians. This is longer time spent apart then MA school in the Navy. The kids are getting impatient with his return. ‘Tater asks every day more then once when he will be home. Monkey just randomly starts crying he wants his daddy. Although sometimes it’s only to get out of trouble because he is constantly doing something he’s not, like trying to play the xBox, and when caught he says “my daddy told me okay”. First off he hasn’t talked to his daddy in days and secondly daddy never said it’s okay. When I tell him no he starts crying “want my daddy. He will say okay. Mean mommy”. It’s normally when he’s tried is when his real hurt shows and it just breaks my heart. He hasn’t slept a full night in his bed since The Man left either. That will be fun to break for 2 weeks. Poor Princess is pretty clueless right now. She’s just happy go lucky when I show her The Man’s picture. She blows raspberries and squeals when she sees his face. I swear 5 children later and I never ever get tired of these milestones and moments.

I feel so incredibly guilty and bad for not being there for The Man on Wednesday. I want to be there to see him “graduate” so badly but finances, time, and babysitting just isn’t there for us right now. Why is it that even though I KNOW that it’s not feasible do I feel so incredibly bad. I feel like I’m not fully supporting him.

Almost done with Christmas shopping; left a couple things for The Man to get when he gets home so he feels a part of it. Only 2 Santa presents, one for Princess and one for ‘Tater. I have to toot my kids horns because they really have accepted Santa better then I thought they would. They know he’s not “real” so to speak. As my oldest ones have put it, Santa is a spirit that is alive in all of us. You don’t have to believe in him just like you don’t have to believe in God, but if you do your life is much fuller and your heart is bigger.

There is so much to do around here but every time I make a dent, the lovely kidlets throw it out of whack again. So I am just working on the never ending pile of laundry that seriously got out of control the last month when I was working. Wednesday I will take the younger ones to their former daycare provider for a couple hours so I can do the big cleaning; bathrooms, mopping, bedroom arrangement, etc. Then I’ll only be home for a couple hours on Thursday before making the 4.5 hour drive to Portland to get my mom! We won’t get back to town till around 1 or 2 am. Lil t’ has a counseling appointment at 0900 on Friday and by the time he’s done with that I will be rushing to pick up the rest of the kids and running to the airport to get The Man.

I’m so excited to show my mom this town. She’s never been to Oregon either. We haven’t seen her since we left San Diego on May 23, 2009. Seems like a lifetime almost. But I am very grateful that she wasn’t here during the summer, because being away from her I found my strengths and what I was capable of doing when The Man and I were only steps away from a divorce. During that time God showed me I CAN take care of myself and my kidlets; that I AM capable of not falling apart. I needed that and I can’t be more thankful. I think prior to that I had lost myself and forgot who I was. Not only hasn’t that she seen Princess since she was 4 months old. She’s not the tiny preemie baby girl anymore.

Monkey is awake and from there I must start my day. Merry Monday ladies.

♥ ♥ A Muddy PAW ♥ ♥

0 Voices:


Related Posts with Thumbnails