This weekend has had it’s ups and downs. I learned some valuable lessons when it comes to preteen girls.
Lesson 1: Feed the girls before letting them eat anything else.
Lesson 2: Do NOT feed sugar/sweets before movie and before they eat solids.
Lesson 3: Do NOT take 3 girls to the teeny tiny mall before their movie starts on opening night.
Lesson 4: Invest in some ear plugs with preteen girls.
Lesson 5: Be prepared to stop every 4 steps with girls as they run into every single
person from their school for the opening night of the movie.
Lesson 6: It IS okay to walk FAR, FAR behind said girls as they sing “I love my ducks” word for word with their friends.
Lesson 7: It is okay during this time to even put your head down, walk and text and pretend you have NO clue who these children are.
Lesson 8: Sit away from the girls during the movie otherwise all you will hear is “ohhh”, “he’s so dreamy”, “WHAT? She’s supposed to be BLONDE?!”, “O.M.G. they made her
Lesson 9: At the end of the movie grab girls and make mad dash for truck otherwise you are stuck for an hour listening to them “catch-up” with friends they haven’t seen in 4 hours since school got out.
Lesson 10: They ARE like Gremlins. DO NOT FEED after midnight. You WILL need to invest in a taser to control wild girls.
Lesson 11: It’s okay to hide in your room when they start squealing about boys, the mean girls, clothes, and music.
Lesson 12: Listen carefully to them talking because you WILL pick up new things. For example I learned
“’gina flap” = is an insult
“gerbil cheese” = school lunches
“wienis skin” = the skin on your elbows
Lesson 13: When sugar induced wild squeaky girls hit their end they WILL pass out just like people who drink too much.
It was fun times either way.
Valentine’s Day is not going good already. I hardly slept last night, it’s raining out, Monkey turned the TV at some point while I was sleeping because it’s now been burned and all my bright vivid colors are GONE. I’ve spent an hour messing with settings and they are dull. And to add to the best part of my day, The Man is confined to barracks because some asshat decided Friday he needed to steal a fellow soldier’s laptop, than another asshat decided that he just HAD to have a smoke at 0330 this morning. Because of these 2 fabulous upstanding men, all passes have been revoked. The Man won’t have access to the internet nor the race. Guess I’ll watch it alone and do laundry.
To everyone else have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!