After a great day Friday; it did not end on a sour note sending me into a tail spin of anxiety and breaking me down. I did not forget to be strong in front of my children for the last 2 and half days. I did not ignore my blog this weekend because I had not one single ounce of positiveness in me. I did not mind breaking down in the middle of Wal-Mart when Lil t’ made a comment about how daddy would have loved to see the woman that was on the obese side trying to fit into a extra, extra small neon yellow and green Oregon Ducks outfit who’s neck was so badly covered in hickies you wouldn’t know that her skin was white. (Yes I am one of those people that snicker at the horribly dressed people at Wal-Mart)
While I know the rule of the military; never count word of mouth as gold until it’s in black and white, I did not believe what The Man told me was true. I did not believe that he was going to end up this morning with orders to Germany or Korea. I did not spend 3 days not eating because I was worried sick over the logistics of one child and one nasty custody battle that would ensue again. I did not convince myself that I was going to have to pick between my family. I did not convince myself that I would have to make the choice of keeping all 4 children away from their daddy to live in the states to keep custody of 1 son vs. moving 3 kids and potentially loosing custody of said 1 son.
I did not break down into a crying fit of rage while making dinner last night because I would never allow myself to break my own rules of dealing with the military. I would not spend last night restless with almost no sleep while tossing and turning over today. I would not view the coming of today as a death sentence to our family. I would not wake up 6 times during a 6 hour sleep to chase Monkey off the TV, out of the refrigerator, off Call of Duty. I did not get woken up this morning by The Man calling me and yelling at him before he could speak because I was still in my crazy dream of being a super stellar FBI agent on a mission who had lost her super top secret earrings. I did not fall victim to his evil cruel joke of telling me the orders were for Korea. I did not yell the F-bomb at him repeatedly when I didn’t get his hint that it wasn’t Korea when he said “My bad they both start with K”. I did not fully process what he said till I tripped over the laundry basket full of clean clothes that have been waiting for me since Friday when I flew into a tail spin. We are going to Kentucky not Korea.
Panic attacks did NOT get the best of me this weekend.
Head on over to MckMama's blog to see what everyone else was not up to this past week.