Walking to purchase regrets to exhusbands to the Wicked Witch

Last Wednesday I posted a picture of a new chapter in our lives with the Princess. She literally “walked” for about a day, since then she has been speed racing throughout the house. She reminds me of Forrest Gump in a way. Remember the scene where Forrest Gump is running away from the mean boys on the dirt road and they do a progression shot showing his legs from hobbling with braces, to them breaking off, to full grown legs? That’s how I feel with her and before I know she will be running around the house with me yelling behind her “Don’t run”.  It’s such a bittersweet moment of life. We as parents always are eager for the next stage in development, if there is actually a parent out there who doesn’t look forward then I’m sorry just haven’t met one yet. We push and anticipate for the next stage, then it happens and we are left feeling sad. Almost like the “empty nest” syndrome, longing for the rewind button to go back.  Yesterday The Man was able to see her walk via webcam! It was so awesome, she kept yelling at him and clapping. Too bad we couldn’t hear each other, another thing on my list to fix; my laptop.

I have to adjust my level of awareness with her now. It’s been a learning curve with her. Monkey learned the hard way to not leave his food unattended on the table. Otherwise Princess will give herself a bath in frosted corn flakes and ice cold milk. She can now climb the baby gate as well when it’s blocking her path to the endless supply of “baby yummies” aka the dog food. I have yet to understand the kids desire to eat dog food. It’s nasty. I also discovered that the incense oil that has been on my window sill for the last year is no longer safe. Along with when spilled on said window sill that the paint will bubble AND the wall will forever smell of spiced pumpkin. I liked the smell for the first 5 minutes, now I refuse to sit in the recliner near the wall. It’s over powering and just horrible. Another scent that I truly don’t know what was going through my head when I bought it thinking “oh it smells lovely”. Yeah it did, IN the store. Everything is always better in the store! Then you get home with it and it’s not even close to what you thought it would be. Just like buying clothes. They make you look super skinny and flattering in the dressing room, get home and you look like a huge balloon puppet. But ya already threw the tags away and now you’re stuck with it.

As you can probably see my mind is FAR from staying on track today. I have so much swimming around up there. I need some nets to corner it all so I can pick which one I want to deal with. I want to start moving, but I can’t till the ex-husband agrees. I have sent him two emails both with revised visitation plan that will work out in his favor but of course I won’t hear from him till it’s on his time schedule. I really am trying to grow past being so angry with him, I mean shoot we’ve been divorced for 6 years now; but honestly he is the ONE person in my life who brings me to the point of going to jail for life. It’s a constant struggle to keep growing up with him. I. Am. Trying. That’s really all I can say about that. I just have to wait it out, until then I can’t plan anything. I feel like a boat stuck in the middle of a lake, The Man on the shore calling me to hurry and come over but I can’t because I’m waiting for the other oar to row and my ex has that oar. *insert foot tapping and labored breathing* Enough of that subject before I have a heart attack.

Maybe I should make Tuesdays my ramble days, wherever the thought river flows you go. I kinda like that idea. Why yes, yes I do. and in the midst of this thinking I just burnt my tongue on my coffee. I can feel my taste buds curling up, whithering away, like the Wicked Witch as she's melting. I have GOT to get a handle on my thoughts today.