Running old ladies over while pantless is not okay

14 May 2010

Thank goodness it's Friday ladies!

I need it, desperately. Two, wait no three things happened yesterday that I want to touch on, so let's get started!

First off the most important, after "harassing" one of the directors at the FCC office regarding our background checks, she looked mine up and I "cleared". I can honestly say that I could have hugged her and kissed her a million times. For once I didn't get told that the past was following me and making it harder. Because of that, I will now spend my next two to three weeks busting ass changing our living room, hitting up the thrift stores for things. Sadly though I have a feeling that the little savings we have built up is going to be gone before I open my doors. I hate start up costs. I just have to remember to keep receipts of everything, and start organizing my record keeping.

Now the next two things are so incredibly hilarious I can't stop laughing from them.

We had a fire drill during our training. Okay no big deal right? Yeah so I thought. We head out to the grass and I take a seat, kicking my flip flops off, enjoying the lovely Kentucky humidity and sunshine. Sitting there with my legs stretched out, LITERALLY within 2, yes count that TWO inches from my bare naked feet, the earth on which I was sitting on starts pushing up! I jumped so fast, flew backwards, and about died. Honestly if I hadn't have gone to the bathroom before the drill I probably would have had to run home and change my shorts. Twenty minutes passed as we watched the ground heave up and down. Much to my disappointment the gopher never showed himself and then disappeared when I informed him he was being rude for not breaking the ground for us to see.

Before the gopher experience, I ran to the ever infamous Wallyworld that sucks your money faster then you can take a breathe. I ran to the bathroom while waiting for the Site to Store associate went looking for my baby gate. (yes I had to buy yet another one to block the kids). As I'm pulling up my shorts, which by the way were my all time favorite Volcom skate shorts (yes I do wear guy skate shorts cause there is nothing hotter then a lady in them with a wife beater to me), the zipper literally fell apart. I couldn't zip them up. Panicked at first, checked the time, figured okay no biggie. Tightened my belt trying to overlap the fabric so no one would see and left the bathroom. Now my shorts are one size too big, since I prefer my skate shorts to sit right at the bottom of my hips, add in the weight of my phone, wallet,and keys; there was absolutely no hope in the world trying to keep them up without showing everyone my undies. Had to pick up a pair of shorts and change in the truck. And of course that couldn't have gone smoothly either. Does anything ever do? It's hella humid out and raining, the inside of the truck is sweltering and I'm dying. So I start the truck, crank the AC and slip out of my shorts. Pull on the new ones, as I'm doing the tushie thrust, digging my feet into the floor to pull them up, I hit the gas, rev the engine about scared the old lady in front of me. I know what she was thinking.... Crazy lady is going to ram her truck into my little primered Ford Tempo. *snicker* Not that I would but if your car's main color is primer it's time to take it off the road!

4 Voices:

Kassandra said...

Ok, I just have to say that while reading this whole post, I was waiting for some idiot to almost run over some poor old crazy woman running around with no pants on.....

Wasn't expecting what you did write, so that made me laugh all that much more when I read it.

That right there just made my Friday.

Jen said...

Haha! I love this!! This made my Friday!!! I can just imagine the look on the old lady face!

Renee said...

Thanks for the first laugh of my Friday!!

Mr. Superman & Mrs. S. said...

Oh I laughed so hard!! You will have to let me know what all your start up costs end up being because I may end up wanting to do home daycare now that I have someone to give me advice!!

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