Not Me! Monday

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Oh the fabulous Monday rears her head again. One of these days the beast WILL be slain and she won’t torture us anymore. Until then, it’s a fabulous Not Me! Post.

The other day feeling bored and overwhelmed with our depressing financial situation, I did not make a HUGE 9 x 13 dish of banana pudding from scratch. While making it for the very first time in my life I did not send myself into heart attack mode when I realized that I poured the whites in instead of the yolks like the recipe called for. I did not spend the next 30 minutes whisking the pudding on the stove, cursing under my breathe and praying that it would still turn out good. It turned out FABULOUS!

I also did not nor am I consuming the whole 9 x 13 dish by myself since no one in this family likes banana pudding. I would never put the weight that I’ve lost right back on. Nor consume that much sugary yummy goodness.

Because of some stupid thing in my head that won’t let me get through scary movies without nightmares, I did not watch Pandroum alone during the day with the blinds wide open and the heat inducing sun pounding down on me. I am not that big of a baby about it. I also did not double check that I was alive, in the year 2010, and that our plant was not loosing our food supplies. Pssh Never in a million years would I be that big of a baby.

On the way to taking ‘Tater to Operation Purple Camp, I did not get us lost that resulted in an added hour and 10 minutes of driving and wasted the precious gas that we had. I did not refuse to turn the AC on thus making everyone a sweaty mass of jell-o in their seats. I did not realize that my stupid GPS required me to change the state when I was on the border of Kentucky and Tennessee. I did not spend that time wandering around cursing at the camp director for sending street names that didn’t exist, only to find out they did in TENNESSE not in Kentucky. If I had then we would have been there an hour and 10 minutes ago. I also did not pretend to be deaf to Dirt Divers comments about my lack of direction, how frustrating I am , and the lack of support for his lost wife.

On the way to taking ‘Tater to camp, Dirt Diver and I did not have a fight over the music that should be listened to in the car. I did not throw a hissy fit for having to listen to Bluegrass for 2 hours. In the process of said argument, Dirt Diver did not throw his own hissy fit by turning to the most foul rap station and blasting it. I do not think I have heard that much filthy words in one song as I did yesterday. I did not fall in love with a stupid song called “In love wit yo booty” by Justin Blu nor did I crack up by the chorus of the song:

“Girl don't turn around 
cause I'm in love with your back 
(In love with your back) 
but if you just got to turn around I really hope your face match”

The first time I heard the song, I did not think he said “I hope your face aint’ smashed”. ROFL

And with that my loves, how was your past week? Anything you don’t want to own up to?