Not Me! Monday

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While hurdling down the 24 heading to pick ‘Tater up from Operation Purple camp, Princess did not start throwing a temper tantrum in her carseat over not wanting anymore milk. I did not decide to dump the remaining milk out the side of the SUV speeding down the deserted highway at 76 MPH. I did NOT for some unknown reason stick my head out the window WHILE dumping the milk. I did NOT watch my all time favorite expensive pair of Arnette sunglasses go flying off my head as they crash landed on the asphalt, bounced a couple times and finally coming to rest next to a poor raccoon who had met his untimely fate. Ironic or what?

I did not sit in my seat with swamp ass slowly creeping on me, face pressed against the frame of the SUV as silent tears rolled down my cheeks. Never would I mourn for a pair of sunglasses. Never!

Monkey would never be sooo excited to finally get out of the car to play on the most brightest badass park aboard Fort Campbell only to pee his pants within 40 seconds of leaving the car. Being an AWESOME mommy that I am, I would never forget to pack a change of clothes for him. Nor would we be so broke that we couldn’t buy new shorts for him. Thank the heavens, that ‘Tater for some odd unknown reason had a pair of Monkey’s underwear and my bra in her bag of clothes when we picked her up from camp.

On the way home, I did not almost slam our SUV into the side of a hog trailer because I was trying to watch the adorable piggies with their snouts sticking out and then place blame on the truck driver when Dirt Diver opened his eyes and yelled. I am not a careless driver.

Upon getting home, Dirt Diver and I did not get into a fight that resulted with him locking himself in the bedroom throwing a temper tantrum. Never in a million years would a grown 27 26  year old man act like a 2 year old. We then did not spend an hour on yahoo messenger, me in the living room and him in the bedroom, talking it out. We would never resort to technology to get through a fight while we are in the same house.  **side note we have NEVER been known to webcam from separate rooms in the house while we are watching separate shows either.**

As I typed my husband age I did not sit here trying to remember how old my husband is. I did not resort to looking at his Facebook profile to figure it out either.

So what things happened to you this week you would like to not take credit for?