Chelle who? Who is this stranger posting?!

Spiderwebs are starting to form around here. I can’t believe I neglected my home for so long, well not that long but long enough I feel out of sync really. This week has been absolutely fun and crazy with the kids. I found a new love for Monkey, he ADORES serving his own food and demands to do it all the time with everything now. Princess has gotten into a routine as well when it comes to eating. Reminder to self check into child abuse laws about super gluing a 18 month old’s hiney to her little chair to keep her at the table when eating.

One thing that absolutely grinding on my last nerve… people. PLEASE do not call me, give me all the details about your children, set up for an interview, and then not show up at all. I do not have the time nor patience to plan a activity that doesn’t require constant supervision on the kids so that I can have time to meet with you. I do not like busting ass AFTER I close for the day to give you an opportunity to come meet me, to listen to my husband and kids bitch and moan about why they can’t lay on the couch watching tv like bums while I keep telling them they have to wait for you to leave but yet you never friggen show up. I tell EVERYONE that my phone accepts texts, if you don’t want to show up fine, text me and say it. Just don’t fucking flake. It chaps my arse more then riding a horse bareback pantless. Seriously why are people so rude and inconsiderate so much these days?

‘Tater’s having a breakdown about the big ole SEVENTH grade starting in a couple weeks. We got the official dress code policy. Poor kid. She can’t wear jeans at all. No pants with 5 pockets. She can’t wear red or purples. Only white, black, brown, blue, green, and yellow; sadly yellow is out of the option because it makes her look so unhealthy. Not sure where we are going to find her pants to fit her skinny minny body but this weekend we’ll be on the hunt.

Had an interview this morning. The mother was very nice, unfortunately for me, my children ruined it. Not once in the 11 years of parenting have I claimed my kids to be awesome but lately they are pushing and pushing and pushing. It’s ridiculous. I truly just want to duct tape them to their bed and never ever let them out of their rooms. Unfortunately our gov’t has rules against methods of saving a parent’s sanity. So I will find other means of torture, like cleaning the cat litter, and picking up the dog poop with just a grocery store bag. I mean what else is nastier then feeling poop squish between your fingers with just a thin piece of grocery store bag plastic protecting you?!

I know I know ladies, I’m horrible. Absolutely horrible. The truth is, I will rant and rave, have ‘Tater do one pile of poop and give in by handing her the shovel back. LOL I could never rule a country on torture, it’s just not in me.

On another topic, we’ve always known that Princess is special. She just radiates specialness from her. But this week she proved in the best possible way whatsoever. During art time, she was busy scrunching up the streamers to glue on her paper, when before I knew it she was leaning over to the little girl next to hers’ paper and LICKED the glue from the paper. She was like a gnat drawn to light, licking away to her little hearts content. Poor baby girl was just BESIDE herself, not understanding why I was pulling her away telling her “NO”.  Due to her actions, we’ve confirmed… she’s special. Glue is no longer allowed around her until she is older to understand that we do not eat or lick glue nor other people’s papers.

And to top this week off, this intrusive beast decided to invade my personal bubble and follow me all over the flipping world. The kids pointed it out a couple of times. Dirt Diver tried to whack it with a book. I even tried to attack it with my nails. Nothing worked. The stupid thing just grew bigger and bigger on my forehead till I couldn’t take it and took a sewing needle to it. But now I am zit free. They only plague me once in a while but when they come for a visit it’s just a lonesome persistent MoFo that doesn’t get the hint it’s not welcomed.

To end this all over the place rant…

I did not just spend 30 minutes crying on my bed by the absolute SHITTIEST experience I’ve had with Tricare and MTF’s in 10 friggen years of dealing with it. WORSE. And I still have to wait another 40FRIGGEN2 days before I can go get my IUD back. Three months of dealing with this crap, call today, was told that they have to do it within 28 days and nope got scheduled 42 days out. I am not even pissed, I am just being a whiny brat who does not want to go through 2 weeks of migraines (1 for each period) and feels that it shouldn’t be this hard to go back to a birth control that I’ve been on for the past 4 years.

Le Sigh ßdone with a really poor French accent attempt