I really have absolutely NOTHING to write about. There’s a ton of crap floating in my head but I don’t’ know where the pool skimmer is to start skimming the stuff of to hopefully make a coherent post that will intrigue people. In other words my brain failed today.
Wait no, yesterday by the time my last daycare kid was picked up, it was pretty much a guaranteed bet that I was not safe to be around people anymore. And for some ODD reason the amazing Dirt Diver picked up on this and helped keep the kids FAR from me. It amazes me that it’s only taken 6 years for him to grasp when I’m ragging, take shelter! I am so thankful he did too, because we would have been in another nasty fight that I will become too stubborn to open my mouth and say those dreaded horrible 3 words… “I am sorry”. Want to know why I hate those words? Because it means that I am wrong and that I am giving up the last word in the fight. I hate that. I absolutely hate it with a passion. I hate being wrong. But I refuse to go sit in a uncomfortable chair talking to some funny looking counselor to tear my life apart to figure out why I am allergic to those 3 words.
Please don’t read that as I hate counseling or don’t believe it. I do with all my heart! I spent over 2 years in it when our marriage was falling apart and the very last thread holding us together was being tied back in knots faster then a hurricane spews; but at some point ya just know when ya done going and when ya need to go back. I am so incredibly happy to say right now, I don’t need it. I’m happy, well minus the financial situation, I am happy. It’s been a LONG road to get here but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Back to my point, I was just in a tissy, over what, I can’t put my finger on just one thing. I just snapped at everyone. Everything they did, whether they spoke, moved, or even breathed just truly irritated me. I really REALLY need to figure out something to do with myself that doesn’t revolve around the kids or for the kids and can be done ALONE. I like to knit, but that’s for the kids. I like to play video games, but the minute the Xbox powers up they are trying to give me pointers or steal the controller. I like to enjoy a cold beer, but they are always around spilling it or shaking it up when they bring it to me. I like to take pictures, but they have ruined my camera. I like to watch tv, but they are loud and their heads seem to grow 4xs the normal size, blocking out the 42” wide screen we have. Hmmm what oh what shall I do that will take me away from these creatures? I hate working out because that means I have to eat twice as much in Ben & Jerry’s to compensate for trying to be healthy. (yes I know that last one doesn’t make sense but it does in my junk food filled life) I like to bake but that is always foiled by their dirty little hands trying to help or stealing what ever I make, leaving me with nothing.
Still on the drawing board for something I like to do. I need to figure it out before the dreaded “D” because otherwise I’m going to go certifiably INSANE and ya’lls will see me featured on Nancy Grace!