Hope everyone had an awesome mini break from work to enjoy with the family. Ours was pretty much awesome minus a tiff we had. Just for reference, when the wife says “let’s go” it means “Let’s Go” NOT “hey babe you can leave with the kids, so I can continue to drink for another 4 hours & get a ride from the other group, because I’m too selfish to realize that my wife has been with kids with no break for over 60 days now and I’m going to take time for myself because I went to NTC for 30 days with no kids.” Hmm yeah that didn’t go over well BUT we worked it out. *Side note: STILL WAITING FOR ALONE TIME*
Anyways, the funniest unfunny thing happened the other day between Dirt Diver and myself. I can’t help but burst into a uncontrollable fit of giggles at it. Unfortunately for Dirt Diver he started off turning red and his ears where smoking; as a pillow caught me in the back as I was trying to ignore the sun breaking through the horizon. Me being terribly angry at him waking me up on my day off before 0730 grumbling about his inconsideration to my sleep needs as I let him sleep off a hangover the day before till 1300. I caught another pillow square in the chest as I was trying to wipe my eyes clear of Mr. Sandman’s remnants. Looking up at Dirt Diver trying to bite my tongue off from saying what I TRULY wanted to say, I asked him as kindly as I could what the hell was bothering him. He’s eyes catch mine, he holds our gaze and he demands “WHO the hell are you seeing?”.
This is where we cue the completely dumbfounded look of all time to come into play. I have no clue what the hell he’s talking about and remind him that just because he couldn’t handle marriage back in the day doesn’t mean that I can’t. And thus the war started. For an hour I listened to him to him rant and rave, demanding I tell him who I was seeing while he was gone. *still clueless what he’s talking bout* I get up and shower while slowly loosing my patience with his accusations.
And then he clued me in to what his boxer briefs were all knotted about. He turned me around, looked at me and said “Who is the douchebag you had over while I was at NTC damnit?!”
That is when the lights came on, instead of a respectful answer all I could do was laugh and snort as I was gasping for air. Turns out Dirt Diver has a short attention span and never finished my confession for my undying love for Dexter. Two hours of his nasty comments followed by my nasty sarcasm that could have ended if he had just asked that question earlier, or when I asked “Where did you hear this” if he had said my blog I could have squashed it.
Lesson to be learned here… Dirt Diver has a short attention span, he does not find my love for Dexter to be okay, and if I write like that again, remember it so I can make that my first question to stop a fight.
My punishment for my evil cruel joke that was never intended to be a joke on his heart; he purposely kept me from seeing Dexter all weekend just to pay me back for scaring the hell out of him.