Being an adult isn't always fun

21 October 2010

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, I would NEVER wish a custody battle/visitations upon anyone including my worst enemy. It’s draining. No one wins including the child. Two families are affected and in the end it’s just not pretty in the least.

For months the Spew of Satan has been saying he’s taking Lil t’ for Thanksgiving but hasn’t sent off his email with the flight info. For 3 weeks he’s missed 6 phone call “visits” with Lil t’, so a part of me was hoping he’d disappear, flake on Thanksgiving and we could have at least ONE holiday together as a whole. But nope didn’t happen and it won’t. He actually answered the phone last night but spent 90% of the time on the phone with me arguing over travel info. I get that he misses his kid, but I’m just asking for this Thanksgiving since Lil T’ is going to miss our last Christmas with Dirt Diver for a while. But nope he won’t budge even though I was trying to give him next year’s Thanksgiving instead.

Just another holiday that won’t be complete.  Now it will work out to all the things we have or will miss with Dirt Diver…

  • 2 Halloweens (2010, 2011)
  • 3 wedding anniversaries (2009, 2010, 2011)
  • 3 Thanksgivings (2009, Lil t’ will miss 2010, and 2011)
  • 2 Valentine’s Day (2010, 2011)
  • 3 Christmas’s (2010 Lil t’ will be gone, 2011 Dirt Diver will be gone, 2012 Lil t’ will be gone)
  • Princess’s Birthday (1st -2010,2nd -  2011,3rd - 2012 possibly)
  • ‘Tater’s 13th Bday (2011 can you believe he’s leaving me to deal with a TEEN ALONE!)
  • First day of school (2006, 2008, 2009 (yes I’m petty over the past years), 2010, 2011)

And with that, that is my last time counting up all the things that will be missed. I will NOT spend the next year nitpicking on all that’s been missed and will instead find the reasons to be happy and grateful.  If I keep adding to this list then I will just be miserable and that will spill out to the kids.

Dealing with deployment is hard enough on the kids without them having to watch their mom fall apart as well.

I need to find strength in dealing with the Spew of Satan alone for a year as well. Compared to our previous years, I do think this year is the best in being able to stand up to him, unfortunately though he still knows what buttons to push at times. This is when friends and family come into play, to remind me just how good of a mom I am and to not let him plant doubt in my heart and mind.

Back to happy thoughts and enjoying a day of laziness.

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