Focusing on good times helps through the bad

12 October 2010

After a wonderful weekend with the family of just laying around watching movies, enjoying the company of each other and cranking out some work; today’s conversation ended the happiness high I was on for a little bit. It was brought up that I need to start looking for another life insurance policy before he leaves. We’ve discussed this here and there but I’ve always been able to push it off and lock it up in the room of topics I do my hardest to avoid. Unfortunately I do not think I keep avoiding this topic. It needs to be discussed. It’s just another convo in the long list of convo’s that need to happen if for some reason he does not come home. Like where will the kids and I go? What will I do for work? What I will do with the bills? Do I know all that needs to be paid? And so on and so on.

Most of you already know how this goes, the feelings that overcomes you. The emptiness that surrounds you’re heart. The weight that lies upon you to the point where you can’t breathe and it’s a battle to keep your focus. I’m keeping it at bay for now but it’s slowly creeping forward.

For now I’ve got the Field Artillery Ball to look forward to and that’s really all I’m focusing on right now. Just to go out and enjoy my night with Dirt Diver, dressing up as a princess and being kid free for the night. I think this will be our last time kid free till we say good bye, so I’m hoping it will be a fun time for us.

It’s been so long since I’ve had my nails done, I can’t wait and it’s been even longer since I’ve had my hair done, like almost 5 years. LOL Yes I do go that long without going to a salon for haircuts and since I relax my own hair I just never go. I hate spending so much on haircuts and junk when I have no clue in the world on how to keep them nice. I realized the other day I’m going to have to buy some eyeliner and mascara. I haven’t worn that junk in forever either. Geesh writing this out makes me sound like such a noob to gurlie stuff, but really I am. 30 years old and I still don’t know how to even pluck my eyebrows myself. I always just get them waxed every other week. So this should be fun.

I forgot how expensive junk is. I got a nice necklace, earrings, and a cute little hair doohickey thingy and holy cow that sent me into heart attack mode at check out. What happened to the good ole days and when things didn’t rob your uterus of every ounce of life you have left?

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