Revolting against the revolt!

(found @ Layoutsparks )

There are too many moving creatures in our house. Between the 2 cats, 2 dogs, 4 kids, husband, myself and the random children that trickle in and out of our home on any given day; I sadly must declare defeat. After the kids went to bed last Thursday cleaning, I spent 5 hours cleaning the house from top to bottom only for it to become a horror zone.

Yes my dear readers, I even snuck into their rooms, put blankets over their heads, turned the lights on and cleaned their dungeons. With no praise from the peanut gallery the following morning.

Side note I now know why people believe in cleaning fairies, it’s not because there really is one it’s because mother’s take drastic measures like forgoing sleep just to have a clean house.

Back to the complaint for the day, it’s Tuesday morning and the house looks like it’s never been touched. How in the world is that possible? How can I have a pine sol smelling, sparkly shinning house one day and the next it looks like Oscar the Grouch’s trash can exploded?

I don’t know what’s more frustrating, having at least 2 kids who are CAPABLE of helping to clean or 2 kids who need a prison guard to follow them with detailed instructions on how to do it every step of the way.

Maybe I’m asking too much but I would think that after 4 years of being required to do the dishes, being shown at LEAST 2 times a week for 4 years, one would THINK that a 12 and 9 year old could load a dishwasher properly or better yet wash a glass removing traces of lip/fingerprints off of it before putting in the cupboard.

Or maybe expecting a kid who begs to keep her cats when I say she doesn’t take care of them would remember to scoop the cat litter before school and before bed. How horrible am I to expect her to feed two cats who sit and cry constantly begging for food while I’m just expected to put food on her plate at dinner time!

Yes I did withhold food from ‘Tater the other night, not for long but just to give her an idea of what she’s doing to her precious cats. She didn’t find my method to be amusing though.

And why am I the cruel black hearted mother just because I refuse to look for Lil t’s DS after I repeatedly told him to put it away before it got lost? I didn’t ask for it, I don’t play with it but still I get to be the receiver of a tantrum because I didn’t do what he should have done.

And why am I the evil wife who apparently forgot to register and attend the “Wives ESP” class upon getting married to know that Dirt Diver needed his PT gear washed while it sat on the floor of his truck with a bottle of Gatorade leaking on it? Why has no one told me about this supposed class to avoid an argument ending with “I’d like to see you find an ESP qualified person in Afghanistan to do your crap” as I stormed off to hide in the ONLY place everyone is afraid to follow me into…The Laundry Room.

I love my family, I love my children, and I love my husband but there are times when I just stop watch them and think “What on earth did I do to deserve these heathens?” I’ve kindly dictated/told (all depends on how you want to interpret “kindly”) them starting on the first of December we are going to start a new chore system, giving us a month to work out the kinks before deployment but we will stick to it when Dirt Diver’s gone because I refuse to become a servant to 4 children who lose focus on what’s important in life.

I love my house and the stuff we have, it’s taken a long time to get it and I refuse for it be brought down by a revolt of heathen disciples that call me “mom” when it suits them!

With that I’m going back into the kitchen to reclean the counters that are now an Ant’s paradise by the bottle of Juicy Juice that was spilt over the night by a sneaking child who was apparently so dehydrated he just HAD to have Juicy Juice vs. cold water from the bathroom faucet.

My days are never done…