You can just call me "Fatty McFat cakes"

(Photo from the fabulous Art de Toilette by the talented Wendy Gold. I swear I need to buy this one just to make me feel better when I step on the stupid scale)

After this morning’s experience at the doctor’s, I’ve become a FIRM believer they should not be allowed to weigh you between the months of November and December. It’s just not right. I mean I already figured I was gaining weight when even my ultra low rise jeans started digging into my sides. Or how bout when I sit down I can feel my bra dig into the ever expanding gut that has yet to stay small lately. Or better yet, how about that stupid shirt I bought over a month ago that I FINALLY decided to wear and yet it was too tight and too small.

I mean it wasn’t me that threw a HUGE temper tantrum yelling at the nincompoop that did laundry and shrunk my new shirt. It wasn’t me that was fuming so hard her head was smoking as her so called loving husband pointed out that THE nincompoop I was mad at was my self because the shirt had never been washed as he held up the proof of a perfectly intact tag still dangling from the shirt.

So you’d think I wouldn’t be so surprised at my appointment this morning when I stepped on the scale and the doc tilted her head and asked “hmmm are you sure you aren’t pregnant?”. I reminded her that no I am not creating any more heathens for a very long time and that I love my Mirena more then life most days since I haven’t been graced by that evil wench’s presence in over 4 months. And that’s when she let me have it. I have gained not a couple but a LOT in one month. I went from being 148 and dropping to *shudders* 164lbs.

I swear I don’t remember eating that much food this past month. OKAY I confess. I did eat 3 loaves of pumpkin bread alone, and I live on graham crackers with peanut butter at night when I’m working and FINE I keep a stash of Peanut Butter Oreo’s hidden on the top of the entertainment center.

But you can’t blame that I love my food. I love it more then the nasty plain water that I drink every day to stay alive.

I guess it’s time to declothes my elliptical (did you know they are a PERFECT rack for jackets and hats?), dig out the Wii Fit, and *gasp* go back to counting my calories. All during the holiday season too. I just might cry at the thought of not eating all my baking this year!