And The Gangrene Heart goes to...

Last night after a horrible day spent with arguing and frustration Dirt Diver & I spent some time together. It started out innocently enough but then it took a turn for the worse, at least in his eyes. As he was in the shower I the respectful wife of his space who knows how much he loathes getting tickled decided to take it upon myself to tickle him. At one point I threw a cup of cold water on him while he was washing his hair. I have to say that is the FUNNIEST thing ever to watch a person’s reactions, although I do not feel the same when the gesture is done to me.

Anyways I went for a hip shot, he went to step out of the way and down he went faster then a set of pins in a bowling alley. After helping him up, drying him off, and bandaging him up; the pity party started on his end.

Woe is me ensued until the pain was too much for him and he passed out from exhaustion.

I poked fun of him on Twitter last night and @WifeyofaSailor came up with the brilliant idea to make him a “Pink” Heart for his sacrifice. I really wasn’t sure I should make it until this morning. I thought he was over it but nope I was wrong. I received the following texts

“Oh they told me at formation that because my wife caused amputation its not considered a combat injury. No benefits for it.”

“Really screwed me this time.”

“They did say I could file a civil suit for injuries and ptsd.”

“oh and I may get at least the 30% for ptsd”

So off I went to make him a “pink” heart but alas we were out of pink so then @Weathergirlkena came up with the idea of green for gangrene!

Here are the results:

Ceremony is to follow later tonight!

My Top 10 Christmas movies

Some of these I watch all year round and yes I know it’s kinda hypocritical to watch Christmas movies all year but get mad at those who sing carols all year. What can I say? I’m not always fair and logical in my thinking.

1. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

How can anyone NOT love Clark Griswold and his love affair gone wrong with Christmas lights?

2. A Christmas story

While most love the part where Ralphie finally shoots himself, I actually have a different one. I love it when he comes down the stairs in the pink fluffy bunnie pj’s. And you just can’t forget the “Major Award” that’s imported. Bwaaaha

3. Tim Burton’s Nightmare before Christmas

Still to this day I want a Jack & Sally tattoo. Their love and acceptance for each other is just too much.

4. Elf

Anyone who eats spaghetti with syrup rocks my socks

5. Babes in Toyland

A perfect classic that’s a merry Christmassy version of The Wizard of Oz

6. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (both versions)

Cartoon & Jim Carrey’s are so stinkin’ cute. Max and Cindy Lou Who make my heart melt.

7. The Santa Clause 1, 2, & 3

LOVE Tim Allen in these movies. I swear it took me probably 5 years before I realized that it was ClausE noe Claus. lol

8. Christmas with the Kranks

My love for this movie can be summed up in 2 words “Free Frosty”

9. Bad Santa

Billy Bob only certifies that it's okay to hate the holidays with a bang!

10. Deck the Halls

A wannabe Clark Griswold in Danny DeVito’s character that just makes you want to succeeded no matter how annoying he is.

What are some of your favorite Christmas movies?

Wordless Wednesday

'Tater may drive me bonkers sometimes but last night she was so incredibly cute for a split second. Well after I over looked the fact that she hit me in the back of the head with her note.

Offered her desert if she would fold the laundry sitting next to her for the past 2 hours. 

Amazingly she decided that dessert was a not needed so late at night. 

*snicker*

Not "gimmieitis" but "Wishieitis"

Since the kids came down with "Gimmieitis" and Briemarie posted her wish list, figured I might as well admit what I'm secretly wishing to find under the tree with my name on.

Keurig

A new wedding ring to  replace my wedding set that is old and beyond repair. And since this is a "wish" list I'm going all out!

Canon Rebel SLRT

2011 Chevy Suburban

iMac 27”

LG 55” LE8500 Infinia

Bunkbeds for the boys

Hero on my Arm ACU purse

A little bah humbug isn't all bad

Growing up I went from being in love with Christmas to hating it back to loving it. But there will always be reasons that drive me bonkers about this fabulous season of joy.

10. Christmas Carols
Why must people feel the need to play or sing them whenever they choose? I mean really what’s the point of singing them. Do you really need to sing “Hark the Harold Angles” while mowing your yard in the middle of summer? Maybe it makes them feel cooler as if a winter storm is happening?

9. Jumping the Gun


Holiday specific items being put out on the shelves while the preceding holiday has yet to come or is coming around the corner. I know I’m not the only one who is so frustrated with retail putting Christmas out before Halloween has even come and gone. Stop rushing the holiday and reminding families of how much money is going to be forked out on presents while the true meaning of the holiday is being lost in the mix of the contagious “Gimmeitits”.

8. The mad house of increased traffic on the roads

No matter where you live how busy it is normally, when Christmas shopping starts, ALL the crazies hit the road and clog up the roadways.

7. Wrapping presents

There are some out there who just LOVE to wrap presents, it’s a form of art for them, I however am not one of them. I prefer to wrap in packing tape and duct tape. I do not stress over gaps in paper of the direction of the wrapping paper is going and ITRULY could careless about ribbons and bows.

6. Hiding presents

Every year I have to go through the hassle of scooping out the house to find the perfect hiding spot. It’s time consuming ESPECIALLY when the kids still find them and then I have to find another spot. One year I tried using a storage closet with a lock and key, unfortunately our heathens figured it out, stole the key and in the middle of the night went creeping. Needless to say they almost got attacked with a baseball bat because I thought we were being robbed by smelly nasty robbers.

5. Tree's lifespan

After hours and hours of numerous family squabbles of picking out the PERFECT try to bring it home, cut the trunk some more, more arguing over centering it, taking the time to string lights and dress it up with ornaments with a TON of TLC and praise does the tree DIE ALWAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS! And in the process I spend my time sweeping up its’ remnants that have been left and dragged all over the house.

4. The cheeriness that goes around and is expected to be contagious

There are times when I want to be a huge Scrooge, I want to frown, I want to complain, and I don’t want to spend money. Sadly every time I want to I come across someone who has a smile super glued to their face, they’re oozing happiness and then look at you awestruck when you don’t return the sugary fake happy smile dripping with insincere Merry Christmas wishes.

3. Putting Christmas stuff back

Like with anything we get excited for the trip but never coming back to reality it’s the same with decorating for the holidays. I hate wait no LOATHE wrapping up the ornaments one by one, wrapping the Christmas lights up so they won’t be a huge ball of tangleness. I hate how bare the house looks after the stuff is put away. And my biggest reason for adding this to my list is I ALWAYS acquire more holiday garb and of course I don’t have room for it so I have to acquire yet another Rubbermaid bin; just another item to spend money on.

2. Toy commercials

They play nonstop during the year but yet the kids never seem to notice them until the holidays or birthdays are a coming. The constant barrage of hearing “I NEED that or I NEED this”. Really? You “NEED” the shocking laser tag Nerf set or you NEED jeans from American Eagle and American Eagle only. Or you HAVE to HAVE the new Handy Manny toy otherwise your life isn’t complete and you’ll die the minute you find out it’s not under the tree.

1. All the yummie food you want to eat

No matter how much you proclaim that you are NOT going to over do it with the wonderful yummieness of the holidays you can’t help it and next thing you know you can’t button your pants. Add in the fact that you become a slave to the kitchen baking different goodies to please all those in the family plus all the cravings that have been pushed to the back burner throughout the year.

Don’t get me wrong I finally have hit a point in my life where I adore the holidays BUT there are still the times where I just want to clench my teeth and groan.

What kind of things do you dislike about Christmas Time?

Wordless Wednesday

This week's been filled with snow & Christmas music recitals. 

And to think it's only Wednesday!

Lil t's very first recital. He was so incredibly nervous.

Ups and Downs

I would love to say that the trip to the dentist resulted in my untimely death from all the torture she did to me but nope. Instead it's been a dryer that won't dry, a husband who keeps promising to fix it, a wishy washy command who can't tell us if Dirt Diver is going to be Rear D or not, a fender bender while I was in the middle of a fight with Lil t, and tires going out on my Dodge.

To one this may seem like the world has succumbed to a nuclear attack knocking out all forms of communication but I think I'm finally getting the hang of it all without having an anxiety attack. It feels good to not feel my chest tighten up, my thoughts become disoriented, and be able to smile vs. clenching my teeth. Thank the heavens for the wonders of medical science!

Lil t last week had his HUGE psycho analyst testing, the one where it takes almost 5 hours to do. I was really worried about the results since his preliminary tests scored him on the Asperger's spectrum. Not that I was afraid of it but more because I knew nothing about it. After the second test it's been determined that he does not have Asperger's instead we are dealing with Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety and Anger Tendencies with a little ADD thrown in the pot. At first I was relieved to finally have a diagnosis as to why my sweet son can be so mean and uncontrollable but a week later I'm still just as frustrated as I was in the beginning of all this. I can't schedule him an appointment to discuss a med treatment until l receive the report from the psychologist and he is on vacation for a week and a half. At this point Lil t' won't start any type of treatment until some time in 2011. It's only what 3 or 4 weeks from now? But I was really hoping to have Christmas Break as a chance for him to adjust to his meds.

I've been toying with admitting this out loud so to speak but been worried about the reactions but really I don't care anymore it's eating me up inside.


For the past 3 months I've been preparing myself and the kids for this deployment. We've laid in bed having the "what if" talks. I've had the talks with the kids. I've been making a care package list of things to send him, to make, have the kids do for him. This week he checks back in from leave and they told him he's Rear D as of right now, it's up to his Urologist and Endocrinologist if he leaves. We are down to crunch time, as in his bags need to be packed and taken to the COF. His goodbye posters are made and ready to hang at the shop. I've already made up the deployment budget to pay debt off, get my new computer since my 2 are on their last legs. I've been finding the positives to being alone with a house full of energy sucking children.

So to hear he's not leaving kind of makes me want to cry. I feel like I've been preparing and preparing and BAM no need to. I KNOW Dirt Diver! I know part of him wants to stay behind to be with the kids and get his kidneys & back fixed BUT I also know he will complain the whole time his unit's gone. He'll want to be there with them. He said today he won't utter one complaint and I KNOW it's a lie. I have spent 6 years with this man to know he always sees the greener grass on the other side then what's in his own damn pasture. I've become used to it and pay no attention to him when he rambles about things but I'm kinda at a breaking point and just need him gone. I'm not like most wives. I carry on just fine without him around, I enjoy not having him underfoot all the time.

Don't get me wrong, I love the man more then anything in the world but I think that after our past 6 yrs of always having a break at some point this year is killing me.

There is more swimming around in this head of mine but unfortunately Princess thinks it's funny to take bites out of all my butter and feed the rest to Reba rather then let them sit out and warm up for Chocolate Peanut Butter Chip Cookies. Off to clean up the madness!

Comfort cooking at it's best

When you’re hungry and have a house full of growling tummies what does one make on a perfect snowy morning? This is even great to make when you’re camping too.

Sausage & Gravy n’ Biscuits 

of course!!!

Here’s a super easy recipe that can be changed as you make it to suit your tastes.

Gravy:


· 1 lb. of sausage (or more depending on how much sausage you like or how many you’re feeding)
· Flour about a ¼ cup
· 2 – 4 tblsp. Butter
· 3 c. Milk
· Chicken bullion
· Salt & Pepper

1. Take a large skillet and brown up the sausage. Once the sausage is browned, use a slotted spoon, and place in a bowl with NO paper towel!

2. With the grease still in the skillet, lower the heat to about medium and toss in about 4 tablespoons of butter. (And if you’re thinking this is a healthy recipe sorry to disappoint ya!) Melt the butter while mixing it up with the grease. Keep the temperature low otherwise your butter will burn. Once it’s melted start sprinkling in flour, I do 2 tablespoons at a time while whisking it into the butter and grease until smooth.


3. With heat still at medium, gradually whisk in milk and cook till thicken.

• Now here comes the differences. My mother in law leaves her’s like this and serves it. But I like a little bit of extra flavor so I take some chicken bouillon and sprinkle about a tablespoon of the powder in & stir it in. I add mine till it tastes a little less floury. One of my friends will take chicken stock and slowly add it in for taste and to thin it out a little. It’s all a matter of preference. Play with it, have fun.

4. Add sausage; use a spatula to get any grease drippings out of the bowl into the gravy. Stir.

5. Add salt & pepper to taste (I don’t add any salt since I NEVER cook with it), simmer for around 15 minutes.


6. Serve over drop biscuits, either make from scratch or use Grand’s.

This is really an easy recipe and the ONLY way to ruin it is to not check the milk, make it, serve it and for everyone to spit it out because it’s been determined you just used rotten milk to make the gravy AND the biscuits.

BUT I would NEVER know that from personal experience!

Being an adult doesn't mean I'm rational all the time

(Found randomly on the vast web)

As you are reading this my dear readers, I am laying on a chair about to be beaten and tortured by some evil sadistic monster! She will probably have to use bungee cord and duct tape to keep be down as I fight to survive and escape her evil lair of torture.

I am not afraid to admit it; I am PETRIFIED of these doctors. I truly don’t believe they should be allowed to be called doctors as they seem to take great enjoyment out of picking, prodding, pinching, and criticizing as they go through each and every tooth.

Dentist = The Devil’s Right Hand Man!

I KNOW how important going to these monsters are and I encourage our kids to go and make it fun to take them. But me on the other hand, I drag my feet as I’m clawing to climb away.

How sad is it that 30 years old, a mom to 4 kids; that my own husband is personally driving me there to ENSURE I don’t keep driving right past the office and hide out for an hour! I mean what kind of trust is that? He feels that he has to be my personal escort. Like I am the kind of person to lie about something as simple as being tortured to death by a masked monster?!

Who in their right mind would WILLINGLY want to look inside people’s mouths?! The thought gives me the eeby jeebies!

In a more positive note about these evil monstrous masked villains, 3 of the 4 had their checkups on Monday. The ONE kid who I had money on to have a mouth full of cavities because of her apparent disregard for a toothbrush or toothpaste, ‘Tater had a clean bill of health. I even asked for a second Villin to double check that’s how much I couldn’t believe there were none. BUT on the plus side we did get a referral to Ortho for her bottom teeth. Princess had her first check up while Dirt Diver is still here. She did so good in his arms and she's got a beautiful set of pearly whites that chomp down well on my flesh.

This is a whole new uncharted territory for me now. I firmly believe God knew I was going to have this volatile relationship with these masked things that he blessed me with almost perfect teeth. I have ONE tooth that is at an angle but not a single dentist will refer me to Ortho. They have all said I have perfect teeth. The idea of seeing how much it'll cost to give her some straight teeth makes me cringe but in the end I know that it'll help boost her self esteem, help lessen problems in the future as she gets older and makes it easier to take care of them.

But enough about the kids who love going! I will probably till the last minute try to come up with every excuse under the sun for why I can't go. If you don't hear from again, you will know they tortured me till I couldn't take it anymore and died from their sadistic ways.

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #22

Ya know the drill, click the pic above and head over to Wife of a Sailor to join up!

1. If you were given $1,000 right now, how would you spend it?

Put it towards the purchase of a iMac. My laptop is shot. The HP Dirt Diver is leaving me the sound gave up, and the rebuilt desktop the graphic card is shot. SOOO as of right now there will be no Skyping once he hits theater. *throwsselfdownonfloorkickingandscreaming*

2. If you had to choose a movie title (a real one that already exists) for your life story, what would it be?

The Story of Us 

(I swear this is like a TAMER version of what Dirt Diver and I went through in the beginning) 

OR 

Adam’s Rib ßclassic but FABULOUS

3. If you were a teacher, what subject would you like to teach?

English maybe? I am horrible at math. Failed Spanish and French so bad that I now owe a couple thousand on lost college classes. Hmm science was not my forte. I did love photography, not so much taking the pictures but I absolutely was a genius at popping the film out, rolling, treating, printing pics like no body’s business. I hated PE (side note it IS possible for someone to FAIL PE even when they take a “walking” PE class). Ohhh I know health. I am the poster child for why not to have sex young and teen pregnancy. Unfortunately I also know the dangers of rape, date rape, suicide, depression, and all the other “fun” things about being a teen that makes it so frustrating being a teen.

4. Has being a MilSpouse changed how you view holidays or how your holidays are celebrated? If so, how? If not, what hasn’t changed?

No. I still hate them for the most part. I still get anxiety over them. I still pray that God will allow for us to skip them for one year. BUT in the end I have learned that it’s not all about me and that I do need to put more emphisus on them. So wait change my answer to yes. Being a MilSpouse has definitely taught me to enjoy what I have today because it could be gone tomorrow.

5. What is your favorite Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate) memory?

Hmm it would have to be last year. Even in the midst of some family drama we still managed to bring the house down by spending the entire day playing Rock Band and laughing with each other. For some reason out of all the holiday’s Christmas is the hardest one for me. I like opening presents but that’s about it. After that I want to hibernate and not talk to anyone. I know it stems from my childhood and the way my messed up family interacted but I still haven’t learned how to fully shake their lasting impressions on me even when they are no were around me.

You can just call me "Fatty McFat cakes"

(Photo from the fabulous Art de Toilette by the talented Wendy Gold. I swear I need to buy this one just to make me feel better when I step on the stupid scale)

After this morning’s experience at the doctor’s, I’ve become a FIRM believer they should not be allowed to weigh you between the months of November and December. It’s just not right. I mean I already figured I was gaining weight when even my ultra low rise jeans started digging into my sides. Or how bout when I sit down I can feel my bra dig into the ever expanding gut that has yet to stay small lately. Or better yet, how about that stupid shirt I bought over a month ago that I FINALLY decided to wear and yet it was too tight and too small.

I mean it wasn’t me that threw a HUGE temper tantrum yelling at the nincompoop that did laundry and shrunk my new shirt. It wasn’t me that was fuming so hard her head was smoking as her so called loving husband pointed out that THE nincompoop I was mad at was my self because the shirt had never been washed as he held up the proof of a perfectly intact tag still dangling from the shirt.

So you’d think I wouldn’t be so surprised at my appointment this morning when I stepped on the scale and the doc tilted her head and asked “hmmm are you sure you aren’t pregnant?”. I reminded her that no I am not creating any more heathens for a very long time and that I love my Mirena more then life most days since I haven’t been graced by that evil wench’s presence in over 4 months. And that’s when she let me have it. I have gained not a couple but a LOT in one month. I went from being 148 and dropping to *shudders* 164lbs.

I swear I don’t remember eating that much food this past month. OKAY I confess. I did eat 3 loaves of pumpkin bread alone, and I live on graham crackers with peanut butter at night when I’m working and FINE I keep a stash of Peanut Butter Oreo’s hidden on the top of the entertainment center.

But you can’t blame that I love my food. I love it more then the nasty plain water that I drink every day to stay alive.

I guess it’s time to declothes my elliptical (did you know they are a PERFECT rack for jackets and hats?), dig out the Wii Fit, and *gasp* go back to counting my calories. All during the holiday season too. I just might cry at the thought of not eating all my baking this year!